Best in Show

Vivian Kirkfield on Showing versus Telling Strategies

Happy New Year Everyone! So excited to have Vivian Kirkfield here with us today! She has quite an exciting 2019 lined up with 3 new picture book releases as well as a trip to SCBWI’s Australia conference in February as a guest speaker. She is such an inspiration to us all and I am honored to have her share her strategies for Showing versus Telling in story writing.

TS: Whether drafting or revising, how do you know when it is necessary to show action, scene and sensory elements?

VK: When I read a book, I want to care about the characters. That’s what keeps me turning the pages. And I think it is no different for kids. We need to make our readers feel something, right? That’s how we know they are connecting to our characters and our stories. So that when they turn to the last page, they utter an AHHH…or an AWWW…or a HAHAHA.

And to get your readers to connect with your character and your story, you need to have action, each scene in which your character is doing something or reacting to something that was done to her…this action moves the story forward. Plus, your story needs to be alive with details, so the reader can visualize what is happening.  Those are the sensory elements…the descriptive words and strong verbs that put the reader in the setting and in the scene.

pippa's passoverIn PIPPA’S PASSOVER PLATE, there is action galore. The story begins with Pippa Mouse getting ready for the holiday. I’ll put the verbs in bold.

“Hurry, scurry, Pippa Mouse,

Washing, scrubbing, cleaning house.”

Even the rhythmic beat of the rhyming text gives us the sense of her movement. And I don’t just say she is busy…the words show very specific actions on her part.

“Hustle, bustle, lots to do.

Pippa stirs a chicken stew.

Sets the table – all looks great.

Where’s the special Seder plate?”

“Pippa searches in a bin,

finds her missing rolling pin.

Pippa opens up a box,

filled with eighteen holey socks.”

And the words provide drama as well:

“Pippa climbs upon a chair,

stretches up – the cupboard’s bare!

Teeter-totter – hold on tight!

Weeble-wobble – what a fright!”

Throughout the rest of the story, Pippa is on the move…searching for her plate and interacting with the other animals.

But in addition to action, we get sensory details to help the readers feel they are in the scene.  Like the refrain, which occurs each time she questions one of the other animals:

“Quiver, quaver, shiver, shake!

Owls make Pippa cringe and quake.”

And when she approaches the Cat, we understand how frightened she is, but she knows she needs to become the Cat’s friend in order to get information:

“Pippa, though afraid to stir,

gently strokes the velvet fur.”

She also questions the Snake who is slither-sliding by the lake. Oooh…slither-sliding…poor Pippa Mouse. And she approaches Owl who sits in leafy shade in a quiet woodland glade…sounds a bit ominous, right? With those small details, the reader gets a sense of the danger that Pippa must face. With those small details, the reader connects with Pippa and cheers her on…and that is what keeps the reader turning the pages.

TS: Are there specific strategies, tools or resources you use to incorporate more   showing/descriptive language?

VK: Whether I am writing my first rough draft or polishing an old manuscript, I keep Thesaurus.com at the ready. We have a gazillion words in the English language, but sometimes, we get stuck on using the same words, over and over. To punch up your story and give it more depth and get away from simply TELLING what is happening, it’s important to use descriptive language and fresh vocabulary.

There are also books that specifically address the Show vs. Tell issue:

The Emotion Thesaurus

Show Don’t Tell

Show Don’t Tell: How to Describe Your Character’s Emotions

There are also books available that contains many examples of simile (comparing two things and using the words like or as) and metaphor (comparing two things WITHOUT using the words like or as) which are two devices that enrich the language of your story:

I Never Metaphor I Didn’t Like

Metaphors Be With You

If you don’t like accumulating books or your bookshelves cannot take one more addition, I think many of these are available in eBook versions.

I also use mentor texts quite a lot. I’ve read hundreds, if not thousands of picture books. But I still go to the library to find ones that use strong descriptive language….and metaphor…and simile.

four otters cover amazonWhen I was writing FOUR OTTERS TOBOGGAN: AN ANIMAL COUNTING BOOK, I wanted to help children connect with the animals and the setting of that pristine mountain river. I wanted to help children identify with the endangered creatures to hopefully create a bond so that they would appreciate the need to preserve and protect them. But a dragonfly? How could I do that?

The book opens with one willow flycatcher whistling as dawn breaks…and then:

“TWO dragonflies dance,

ballerinas above a liquid stage”

Yes, the dragonflies are ballerinas…dancing above the water. (and this was a metaphor because I don’t use the words like or as…similes and metaphor help create pictures in a child’s mind because you are comparing something to something else that they know) Children have a familiarity with ballerinas…many little girls and boys take ballet lessons.

And later when the day is almost over (and check out the verbs that I’ve put in bold – this story also benefits from strong action words)

“A brisk wind pushes the storm clouds,

revealing the setting sun.

NINE yellow mud turtles stretch out their necks,

sunbathers soaking up the last rays

before leaving their log.”

That’s right! The turtles are sunbathers (another metaphor), stretching out their necks to soak up the sun. Kids know what it is like to go to the beach or sit out in the hot sun. They can imagine that scene so much more clearly…so much more personally, I think, just because of the language I used. I also employed alliteration, a favorite technique in picture book writing where the starting sound of the words in a phrase are the same:

Stretch out their necks, sunbathers soaking up the last rays before leaving the log

TS:  Would you like to share an example of a before and after where you needed to show more and found the right words to paint the image for the reader?

sweet dreams cover template revisedVK: In SWEET DREAMS, SARAH, Sarah Goode builds one of the first cabinet beds, a precursor to the Murphy beds that became so popular more than 30 years later. But, when she tries to patent it, her application is denied. Sarah doesn’t give up. I could have said: Sarah filled out a new application and hurried down to the post office to mail it away. But I wanted the reader to understand how important this was to Sarah. Every day that went by meant someone else could steal her idea. And so, I wrote:

“Carefully she changed a word here and a sentence there, explaining more about her unique mechanism, the idea that had come to her so long ago. Slipping the paperwork and a bit of her heart into the envelope, Sarah sealed her fate and sent it off. “

A bit of her heart went into the envelope, right? And she didn’t only seal the envelope…she sealed her fate. Just a few words that create more than a picture in the reader’s mind…they create a feeling and a connection with Sarah. And I think that is what happens when you show vs. tell.

TS: Writing is about balance. How do you know you’ve got it just right? What tips or suggestions do you have for writers in terms of striving for that balance of showing versus telling?

VK: How do I know when I’ve got the balance between show and tell just right? Honestly, I don’t. I work on the story about it sounds and feels right. And I give it to critique buddies and then revise as per their feedback. And then give it to another set of critique buddies. But these are a few of the things that I do in my process of writing.

  • So What? Years ago, at a conference, I listened to a presentation that made a big impression on me. The speaker said that we have to ask one important question – so what? Why is this a story that children will want to read? In fact, why is it a story that children should read?  Are the stakes high enough that it deserves to be read? That it matters? And, are there universal truths that will strike a chord with the reader? So, I read my story and ask the question: so what? Why should a kid care about my story?
  • Another thing that I do is refine the opening line. For me, the opening line is the key to my manuscript. Like a house key, it opens the door for the readers to walk into the story. I work very hard at capturing the reader’s attention with my opening line.
  • I also enjoy creating a satisfying ending that almost always circles around and echoes the beginning.
  • I read my story aloud. Many times. If possible, I have someone else read it aloud and I listen.  I record myself on my phone or computer and listen. If I can listen to my story dozens of times and still enjoy hearing it, I think I have found a good balance. If I can listen to my story and feel a connection to the characters, I think I have found a good balance. And if I can read my story and get to the end and say AHHH or AWWW or HAHAHA, I am absolutely positively sure I have found a good balance.

And so will you all.

ABOUT VIVIAN:

Writer for children – reader forever…that’s Vivian Kirkfield in five words. She’s got a bucket list that contains many more than five words – but she’s already checked off skydiving, parasailing and banana-boat riding. When she is not looking for ways to fall from the sky or sink under the water, she can be found writing picture books that she hopes will encourage young kids to become lovers of books and reading. She is the author of Pippa’s Passover Plate (Holiday House, Feb 2019); Four Otters Toboggan: An Animal Counting Book (PomegranateKids, March 2019); Sweet Dreams, Sarah (Creston Books, May 2019); Making Their Voices Heard: The Inspiring Friendship of Ella Fitzgerald and Marilyn Monroe (Little Bee Books, Spring 2020); From Here to There: Inventions That Changed the Way the World Moves (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Fall 2020). She lives in the quaint New Hampshire town of Amherst where the old stone library is her favorite hangout and her young grandson is her favorite board game partner. You can visit Vivian on her website, Picture books Help Kids Soar, where she hosts the #50PreciousWords Writing Challenge every March. Or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Linkedin, and just about any place people are playing with picture books.

You can connect with Vivian through the following: 

Vivian’s Website: Picture Book Help Kids Soar

Vivian’s Facebook Page: Facebook.com/vivian.kirkfield

Vivian’s Twitter Page: Twitter/viviankirkfield

Vivian’s Pinterest Page: Pinterest/viviankirkfield

Vivian’s Instagram Page: Instagram/viviankirkfield

Vivian’s Linkedin Page:  Linkedin/viviankirkfield

Vivian’s Books and Writing Challenges:

Closing Remarks:

Thank you again Vivian for spending time with us today. We greatly appreciate your knowledge and wish you a fantastic journey this year!

See you all on our next blog post February 2nd !!

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Pitch It to Me

~ The PITCH IT TO ME Challenge ~

Hello, and welcome back for the second “Pitch It to Me” Challenge! The first challenge was a success, with guest pitcher, author Melissa Stoller, taking first place. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to read the pitches, vote, comment, or to support wonderful members of our writing community.

Here’s a recap of how this works. I pick one lucky writer’s picture book pitch for the post. I write another for the same story, and have a guest write a third. YOU get to vote on your favorite. The winner gets bragging rights, and the writer ends up with three pitch ideas, feedback, and a complimentary critique of the story.

This month, Candace Spizzirri pitches AMBER MAE SAVES THE STRAYS. Our guest challenger is … drum roll please … the fabulous author, editor, and publisher, Alayne Kay Christian of Blue Whale Press. You can learn more about each of these ladies and their work below.

You have until January 1, 2019 to vote on your favorite pitch. They are in no particular order. Please only vote once, but feel free to tell your friends about us and get them in on the action.

Let the challenge begin!

About Candace:

Candace holds a degree in child psychology with an emphasis in emotional development. She is an active participant in SCBWI, Julie Hedlund’s 12×12 Picture Book Writing Challenge, Children’s Book Insider, Writing Magic Writing Lab, critique groups, and a graduate of the Children’s Book Academy. Candace writes picture books in both prose and verse, and finds joy in spending time each day writing and honing her craft. You might also find her breaking into dance moves that are not in the least bit embarrassing.

Follow her on Twitter: @CCSpizzirri1

About Alayne and Blue Whale Press:

Alayne Kay Christian is the content and developmental editor for Blue Whale Press and an award-winning children’s book author of the chapter book Sienna, the Cowgirl Fairy: Trying to Make it Rain and the picture book Butterfly Kisses for Grandma and Grandpa. She is the creator and instructor of a picture book writing course, Art of Arc. She has been a professional picture book and chapter book critique writer for five years. She has been a critique ninja for Julie Hedlund’s 12 x 12 picture book challenge forum for three years. Alayne is a graduate of the Institute for Children’s Literature and she has spent the last ten years studying under some of the top names in children’s literature.

You can connect with Alayne through the following:

Alayne’s Website: http://www.alaynekaychristianauthor.com/

Alayne’s Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/alaynekay.christian

Blue Whale Press Website:    https://www.bluewhalepress.com/

Blue Whale Press Facebook Page:    https://www.facebook.com/BlueWhalePress/

Alayne’s books: Butterfly Kisses for Grandma and Grandpa and Sienna, the Cowgirl Fairy: Trying to Make it Rain

Concluding Remarks:

Thank you to Candace and Alayne for participating in the Pitch It to Me challenge. They were simply WONDERFUL to work with. If you would like to be part of a future challenge, please contact me per the instructions found here. I will see you all again for “Pitch It to Me” on March 16, 2019!

 

Finding Creativity, Uncategorized

Marcie Colleen on Sparking Whimsy & Rocketing to the Moon

Hi, y’all! Today on the Wonder of Words blog we have super talented author, Marcie Colleen, answering questions about her latest picture book, PENGUINAUT!, and on sparking creativity.

Welcome, Marcie! Thanks so much for being here. PENGUINAUT! is such a wonderful combination of humor and heart-squishes. My five year-old went grocery shopping with me recently and was BESIDE HIMSELF EXCITED when the buggy ahead of us was full of 2 liter soft drinks. He was sure they were planning on rocketing to the moon!

PenguinautSoftDrinks

Wondering why Mermaid Girl & Dinosaur Boy are reading with fizzy drinks surrounding them? You’ll have to read the book to find out! 🙂

LOL! That’s awesome! Definitely rocketing to the moon.

1. When and where did you get the inspiration for Orville’s story?

Back in December of 2011 a friend of mine posted the following on Facebook:

fbNow, as a writer, I can’t control where my ideas come from. And after reading this, I became so curious about penguins and their lack of necks which would prevent them from looking at the stars. I asked, “what if?” (that is what writers do, we are constantly asking “what if?”). What if a penguin saw the moon for the first time and became so enthralled that he wanted to find a way to get there?

As with all stories, this one went through lots of revisions (39 to be exact!) and lots of re-imaginings. Along the way, I have lost the “falling over and discovering the moon” bit, but the adventurous spirit of Orville lives on in the published book.

2. I love the idea of penguins willing to fall down for a chance to look at the stars! And 39 revisions—that makes me feel better about my own manuscripts. What is your favorite part of the creative process?

My favorite part of the process is when I can call on my pals and get feedback on what I have written. They always help me see the lack and where I can make things stronger. I love that process. Brene Brown talks about how no art is created without midwifery. And my books have required a lot of midwifery. That collaboration is the best part of creation for me.

Penguianut cover low res

3. Yes! I rely heavily on the wonderful Wonder of Words PB critique group as well as my in-person Write Club ladies for MG & YA. I feel I’m a stronger writer after taking your Study Hall over the summer too. Do you have other creative outlets or hobbies? Do they cross into your writing?

 

I have lots of other creative outlets. I like to dabble in music, singing and playing a little ukulele and guitar. I also love to cook. I run every day. I suppose these do cross over into my writing, as they allow me to replenish my inner well. They fire up the imagination, spark whimsy, and encourage experimentation. So, they might not cross into my writing directly, but they certainly do play in.

Screen Shot 2018-06-03 at 9.56.24 AM
Illustrator Emma Yarlett did a superb job on capturing Orville and his zoo friends

4. Do you have any tips you’d like to share about finding creativity?

 

I very much think of creativity as a muscle. The more you work the muscle, the more you will build. Therefore, take time to infuse your day with play and imagination. As you do that, your creativity feelers will grow and before you know it, you will be finding stories everywhere you look.

5. So true. I love this permission to play and use the imagination! Creativity usually seems to inspire more creativity. Do you have another book project you’re working on that you could give us a hint about?

 

My next picture book comes out in Winter 2020 from Macmillan. It’s called The Bear’s Garden and it will be illustrated by Alison Oliver (Moon, BabyLit series). It’s about an intrepid girl, her beloved stuffed bear, and the garden they create in a forgotten corner of their neighborhood. It is inspired by a real community garden in Brooklyn, New York and it’s so wonderful to see my former neighborhood come to life through Alison’s gorgeous art. It truly will be a love letter to the place both Alison and I have called home.

 

Community gardens are such a wonderful thing I’m happy to see popping up more and more regularly. This story sounds beautiful! Thank you so much for your time, Marcie! And y’all, her Study Halls are GREAT. We highly recommend. Check out her website for more information.

20160113_D800_marciecolleen_headshot_9442_3x4In previous chapters Marcie Colleen has been a teacher, an actress, and a nanny, but now she spends her days writing children’s books! She is the author of THE SUPER HAPPY PARTY BEARS chapter book series with Macmillan/Imprint, as well picture books, LOVE, TRIANGLE, illustrated by Bob Shea (Balzer+Bray/HarperCollins), and PENGUINAUT!, illustrated by Emma Yarlett (Scholastic). She lives with her husband and their mischievous sock monkey in San Diego, California. Visit Marcie at www.thisismarciecolleen.com or follow her on Twitter @MarcieColleen1.

 

For y’all’s creativity prompt inspired by this interview, watch your social media feed to see if a post sparks whimsy in you. Let me know in the comments, and I’ll randomly choose a winner for a picture book manuscript critique by me!

Book Reviews

On Being Thankful

November days are dark, dim, dismal, dreary. They’re also Days of Gratitude when we ponder what we’re thankful for. This November, I’m thankful for words. For much of my life, words have been important in my world. As a dyspraxic kid, I needed words to understand my world. I was an early talker and early reader.

I’m grateful for the words of my childhood – Polish words. My favorite stories were Janusz Korczak’s tales about King Matt the First. I also enjoyed Grimm’s fairy tales and all the children’s classics like Cinderella and Snow White.  We moved to Israel; Hebrew words. I recall reading Joanna Spyri’s Heidi. The first stories I read in English were Kipling’s Jungle Book and Marguerite de Angeli’s The Door in the Wall. As I got older, I enjoyed Mark Twain and Charles Dickens. In high school, it was Tolkien, Michener, Uris, Steinbeck.

The possession that I am most thankful for is my library card. I used the library a lot as a child, and I use it a lot today as an aspiring author. When I was young, my friends existed in books and lived in other worlds – worlds those books transported me to. I could lose myself in a book and forget my loneliness. The little card is my key to other worlds via books, DVDs, and CDs.

Today there are many books that teach children the importance of cultivating gratitude. At my local library, I was drawn to three gratitude books. In Look and be Grateful, Tomie De Paola’s simple words and bright pictures encourages young children to be grateful for each and every day. In Suzy Capozzi’s and Eren Unten’s I am Thankful, a boy learns to think positively even when things don’t go the way he wants. In Grateful Gracie by Jennifer Tissot and Cecilia Washburn, Gracie helps her older, grumpy brother learn the power of gratitude. The book teaches kids that we can remember the good things even when days are gray and life seems hard.

Among the classics are Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree, Dr. Seuss’ Did I ever tell you how lucky you are?, and Stan Berenstain’s The Berenstain Bears Count their Blessings.

These five titles common on almost every list of gratitude books for kids:

The Thankful Book           The Thankful Book by Todd Parr, which celebrates all the little things children can give thanks for.Bear Says Thanks (The Bear Books)

Bear Says Thanks is a story of friendship and gratitude  by By Karma Wilson, Illustrated by Jane Chapman

Grateful: A Song of Giving Thanks is a book and CD that combines words, illustrations and music in a stirring anthem to gratitude.

 

Gratitude Soup by Olivia Rosewood, where Violet the Purple Fairy mixes everything she’s grateful for in an imaginary soup pot.

Thankful by Eileen Spinelli illustrated by Archie Preston encourages kids to be thankful for even the smallest blessings. “The poet is thankful for words that rhyme, the children, for morning story time,” she writes.

Her words resonate in my heart; I’m thankful for words.  

I’m thankful for the gift of words and wordsmithing my dad passed on to me. We lived on different continents, traveled separate pathways. I have no memories, few mementos, and only one gift: Language. Like father, like daughter – both lovers of words. For that, I’m grateful.

I’m thankful for writing partners, writer’s groups, writing teachers and mentors, so many resources to improve my craft.

Words matter. With my writing gift, I hope to encourage, engage, enrich the lives of my readers – as my life has been enriched by the written word. I hope to use my words, my voice, to encourage, to affect positive change in our world, to share peace, love, life, joy, faith, hope.

WORDS: Handle with Care

 As children, we were told to say:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but words can never hurt me.”

Yet words often cause injury and pain…

The scars don’t show,

but the wounds may never heal.

**

Words – or their absence – have power:

They can hurt, or they can heal.

They can bruise, or they can mend.

They can kill – or give new life.

**

Words.

Use them with care.

To encourage, engage, enrich.

It is said:

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”

Words

can change lives.

You

can change the world

one word at a time.

**

Some say a picture

is worth a thousand words, but…

Pictures lack sound, smell, or taste…

 Words evoke image,

smell, taste, sound, mood, feel.

Words have power.

Words are real.

**

Words tell a story,

convey a message,

convince the skeptic,

stir up mood and feelings.

 My world of words

is worth more

than a thousand pictures.

Uncategorized

Alliteration by Gabrielle Schoeffield

I confess, my fascination with words qualifies as a first-rate fetish.   It’s only natural I should challenge myself to share the wonder of words and writing from A to Z.

Today, I’d like to share what I have found (and love) about alliteration.  Alliteration is in the air, in awe inspiring abundance much like the autumn leaves.

Alliteration, by definition, is “the repetition of usually initial consonant sounds in two or more neighboring words or syllables.” There are so many examples of this in everyday life.  Business’s like Dunkin Donuts, Chuck E. Cheese, Bed, Bath, and Beyond are perfect examples, as are famous people like Jesse Jackson, Kim Kardashian, and Doris Day.   Even Super Heroes get in on the alliteration action (did you see that one?) with their real names.

Captain America real name isBucky Barnes.  The Hulks real name is Bruce Banner. Spider-Man goes by Peter Parker.  Superman’s real name (Clark Kent) has the same sound (although it doesn’t start with the same letter), but his girlfriend Lois Lane does.

Alliteration can also be found in poetry, music and literature.  William Shakespeare clearly had a handle on the topic when he wrote “Good night! Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow.” (Romeo and Juliet).  Edgar Allen Poe opened his poem The Raven with “Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary…”  But my favorite poetic alliteration comes from Paul McCartney’s song, Let it Be. Inspired by a dream about his late mother, Paul wrote the song that includes my favorite alliteration, “Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.”

In my research of the topic, I was amazed at the lack of picture books written in the alliterative form.  I did manage to come across books at my local library.

If You Were Alliteration written by Trisha Speed Shaskan, illustrated by Sara Gray, explains by example what alliteration is and then gives an example.  “If you were alliteration, you would be the same sound repeated at the beginning of two or more words in a phrase or a sentence.” Ms. Shaskan used “Ulysses the Unicorn spots a UFO as he makes a U-turn on his unicycle” as her example. The illustrations are colorful and delightful.  Beyond the definition and examples of alliteration, the author has included a game to play, a glossary of terms and where you can go to learn more about alliteration.  You’ll have to check out the book for the instructions for the game!

Walter Was Worried was written by and illustrated by Laura Vaccaro Seeger.  Not only is this delightful book written in alliteration, the illustrations include the emotion the characters were feeling “when the sky grew dark”.  You will have to check this one out.

Of the few books I found on alliteration, Betty’s Burgled Bakery, written and illustrated by Travis Nichols is clearly my favorite!  It fits in the “graphic novel” category although it is a picture book.  When Betty arrives at work to find everything missing, she calls the “gumshoo zoo” detective agency to report “A bread bandit burgled my bakery before breakfast!”  To find out how the case is solved, you’ll just have to read the book!

I am lucky to have been blessed with a lifelong love of learning, blessed with friends who fancy writing as much as I do and the opportunity to share my stories with you all.  Thanks for stopping by!

Best in Show

Strategies for Showing Versus Telling

Hi Everyone!

Welcome to our fourth blog post! What an honor it is to be able to interview authors on their strategies for showing readers their stories through the most amazing selection of words. Ever WONDER how they accomplish this? Best In Show blog posts will showcase authors sharing their strategies for captivating the audience through showing, not telling. In addition, I will share some tips for building the love of reading in an era where technology largely competes for a child’s attention. I hope you find the information useful whether you are writing your next book, presentation, or looking for ways to encourage a child in your life to read, read, read!!

Our WONDER OF WORDS guest today is picture and chapter book author, Ariel Bernstein (www.arielbernsteinbooks.com). I had the pleasure and honor of working with and learning from Ariel in a critique group in 2015-2016 and saw her talent for showing versus telling right away. It has been such a joy to watch her career as an author blossom. My students Skyped with her last fall and learned so much.

TS: Hi Ariel, Congratulations on the recent release of your new chapter book series WARREN & DRAGON (Viking Children’s, 2018). Thank you so much for spending some time with me today. Where do your story ideas originate from?

AB: It’s hard to pinpoint exact places where story ideas originate from! Often when an interesting idea pops into my head, or I see something interesting happen in real life, I will write it down. Later on, I’ll try and see if I can turn the idea into an actual story. For example, during one winter I heard a kid say, “I want the cold to go somewhere else.” I thought that could become a funny story of a kid trying to convince winter to go away. I wrote the picture book and although it never sold, I enjoyed the experience of writing it.

TS: When revising manuscripts, how do you identify which areas need more showing and less telling?

AB: Sometimes it’s hard for me to have a good perspective on my own writing. I get feedback from other writers who give me critiques, and if they think I need to show more and tell less, I listen!

TS: Are there specific strategies you use to incorporate more descriptive language?

AS: I try not to use much descriptive language with a picture book as the illustrations will show almost everything. With the chapter book, sometimes during revisions I’ll see that a scene moves too quickly, so to slow it down I will try and add descriptions of people and places.

TS: How do you know when you’ve finally got it just right?

AS: It’s hard to answer this because if you wait a while and look back at a manuscript, there’s always a chance you’ll want to change something! But after listening to feedback from critique partners and revising a number of times, it comes down to instinct that my manuscript is ready to be sent to my agent. And then she might have suggestions for revisions! And if an editor acquires it, there might be even more revising.

TS: Do you have any tips or suggestions for how writers can be more aware of painting that full picture for the reader and listeners?

AS: This isn’t new advice, but it’s the perfect one – read, read, and read some more! Read like a writer – figure out how a book you enjoy draws you in (is it the interesting characters? The setting? The voice?), how it keeps your attention (the chapter endings? The quick pace? An engaging plot?), and how the ending leaves you feeling satisfied (are all loose ends tied up? Is there a twist ending? Does it make you want to re-read the book?). Be aware of these things when writing and revising your own work.

TS: My students love Owl, Monkey, Warren and Dragon. Your characters are relatable to readers of all ages. They remind us what it is like to behave and express emotions and that is a wonderful thing! Thank you for sharing you gift of words with us and we look forward to many more books!

warren and dragon.jpgowl and balloon.jpg

You can find Ariel’s books at:

www.arielbernsteinbooks.com

Facebook: fb.me/ArielBBooks

Twitter: @ArielBBooks

Instagram: @arielbbooks

Tips For Creating Lifelong Readers:

Reading is a whole lot easier when kids learn early in life how much fun it can be. Here are five easy tips as everyone settles into those Back To School routines:

-Read bedtime stories to your kids every night: let them choose the story

-Always ask questions as you go: helps keep kids engaged

-Read and repeat: this helps build confidence

-Read more pages and fewer screens: have more books available than phones

-Visit your local library: this can be such a fun family outing

Thank you for joining us today and enjoy our next post by Gabrielle Copeland Schoeffield on November 3rd!!

Pitch It to Me

~ The “Pitch It to Me” Challenge ~

Hello everyone, and welcome to the first “Pitch It to Me” Challenge! I am excited to bring this interactive learning adventure to our Wonder of Words blog. It’s intended to be fun and engaging, show how creative we can be with our story pitches, and support the hard-working and WONDERful members or our writing community.

Here’s a recap of how it works. I pick one lucky writer’s picture book pitch for the post. I write another for the same story, and have a guest write a third. YOU get to vote on your favorite. The winner gets bragging rights, and the writer ends up with three pitch ideas, feedback, and a complimentary critique of the story.

To start us off, Kari Gonzalez pitches her picture book manuscript, PRINCESS PARTY NINJA. Our guest challenger is author Melissa Stoller. You can learn more about each of these ladies and their work below.

You have two weeks to vote on your favorite pitch. They are in no particular order. Please only vote once, but feel free to tell your friends about us and get them in on the action. Let the challenge begin!

 

About Kari Ann:

Kari is a published poet, but she is most enthralled with her new-found love of writing funny and witty picture book escapades. Her first draft writing process is fast and furious to get stories out of her head, which of course makes room for more! Her three cats are kind enough to share their home with Kari, her husband, and their two little girls.

Connect with Kari at: https://www.karianngonzalez.com

About Melissa Stoller:

Melissa Stoller is the author of the chapter book series The Enchanted Snow Globe Collection – Book One: Return to Coney Island and Book Two: The Liberty Bell Train Ride (Clear Fork Publishing, 2017 and 2019); and the picture books Scarlet’s Magic Paintbrush and Ready, Set, GOrilla! (Clear Fork, Fall 2018). She is also the co-author of The Parent-Child Book Club: Connecting With Your Kids Through Reading (HorizonLine Publishing, 2009). Melissa is an Assistant for the Children’s Book Academy, a Regional Ambassador for The Chapter Book Challenge, an Admin for The Debut Picture Book Study Group, and a volunteer with SCBWI/MetroNY. Melissa has worked as a lawyer, legal writing instructor, freelance writer and editor, and early childhood educator. Melissa lives in New York City with her husband, three daughters, and one puppy. When not writing, she can be found exploring NYC with family and friends, traveling, and adding treasures to her collections.

Connect with Melissa at:

www.MelissaStoller.com

http://www.facebook.com/MelissaStoller

http://www.twitter.com/melissastoller

http://www.instagram.com/Melissa_Stoller

http://www.pinterest.com/melissastoller

Concluding Remarks:

Thank you to Kari and Melissa for participating in the first Pitch It to Me challenge. If you would like to be part of the next challenge, please contact me per the instructions found here. I will see you all again for “Pitch It to Me” on December 15, 2018!